Modern wristwatches should be fairly simple in design, right? Well, it seems as if a few companies didn’t get that memo and have decided to create some of the most convoluted and strangest watch designs to ever grace your wrists. Sure, they are a talking point and even a little bit fun, but one has to assume that the novelty will be lost extremely quickly and all that’s left is a device that barely tells the time better than a sundial.
As a whole, Swiss-made watches are well-made things, and despite coming in all shapes and sizes, are generally beautiful to look at and even nicer to wear. Still, the following companies clearly hate beauty and have set about to create some of the ugliest timepieces to ever see the light of day.
“Just telling the time is boring… watches should be able to make music too!” This was clearly the thought behind the horrific Synthwatch, which is basically a miniature keyboard encased in a chunky square block-like thing. A digital watch face does exist too, but really, who’s actually brave enough to wear this in public and actually check the time? If there was ever any doubt that the Synthwatch was just not meant to be, the device only reached €1,056 of the €76,000 goal on Kickstarter. At a cost of €450, are we surprised that this was the outcome?
We’ll undoubtedly see another effort on other crowdfunding sites, but Audioweld – the company behind the monstrosity – should be aware that the tiny keys are not so ergonomic for long musical sessions, and the ugly design just makes it so far away from anything remotely fashionable. Oh, and Audioweld knows that there are better, easily reachable keyboard apps for smartphones, right? That could be a reason why the public interest was so out of tune for this musical watch.
Moser Nature Watch
While it’s hard to fault the overall aims of H. Moser & Cie., let’s just say that the idea of an environmentally friendly watch might have been a bit too literal. The Moser Nature Watch is nothing more than a functioning time-telling plant on your wrist, with a dial made from natural stone and lichen and a strap created from woven grass. The phrase, “Hang on, I just need to water my wristwatch” is not something we thought we’d ever hear, but how times are changing in the world.
Unbelievably, this isn’t the first time that H. Moser & Cie. has done something a bit unorthodox with its watch designs, as there has also been a watch dial created from Swiss cheese resin, as well as a timepiece which unashamedly borrowed design elements from many other Swiss luxury watch companies. Intended as a tribute to these other brands, the homage watch didn’t go down well with the competition and is essentially now considered a that-which-should-not-be-named by those who work in the industry.
It’s gorgeous, it’s timeless, it’s… actually one of the worst things we’ve ever seen. The MP-05 LaFerrari is a collaboration with Swiss watchmaker Hublot and Italian supercar manufacturer Ferrari, and to think that this was the outcome of all those intelligent and creative folk is, quite simply, unimaginable. To even call it a watch is a stretch, as it appears more like a miniature engine with little metal parts moving around and whirring all the while.
The watch face itself is baffling, as it’s actually difficult to tell what the time is. Numbers appear on the dials, but it’s not a typical analog watch face with moving hands, nor is it digitized at all. It’s just a tiny machine on your wrist with rotating numbers. If someone asks you for the time while you’re wearing this, just say your watch is broken and check your phone screen instead – it’ll be far quicker, believe us.