If you’re considering the pros and cons of online dating, you’ll probably recall the ease with which you can find potential matches, as well as the tendency of other users to send unsolicited messages or photos. There are all kinds of reasons to try online dating – and there are all kinds of reasons to leave it alone. What you end up deciding will depend on where your preferences lead you, as every cost-benefit analysis will ultimately boil down to how appealing it seems to you personally.
Something you can count on, though, will be the safety nets that are unique to online dating. Whether you’re on a Tinder-style dating app, or you’re using a free adult chat site like Flingster, you’ll be able to skip some of the aspects of real-life dating that may have always secretly bugged you.
You’ll do a lot less second-guessing about your date’s interests or goals.
Certain dating platforms can be geared towards certain outcomes (you wouldn’t look on eharmony.com for a one-time fling), but within each site you can still find a lot of variety. Some users are looking for cuddling and some quiet evenings together, while others just want a casual hookup. How does this pertain to you? Well, you can read all about it on each user’s profile!
For whatever reason, openly stating what you want is considered almost rude in many circles. At best, it could seem a little odd to start off a date by stating that your dream relationship involves cycling through the Umbrian region of Italy. If you’re filling out a dating profile, however, you’re actually encouraged to add these kinds of details. By learning these things beforehand, you can avoid investing all kinds of time and effort into someone who never even wanted the same things as you.
You don’t have to worry about the physical risks of getting intimate with a relative stranger.
Even if you take all the right precautions, you can never quite be sure that your date will go as planned, and this is especially true when it comes to having sex. You pretty much have to trust that the other person doesn’t have any communicable diseases, and that they’re willing to respect your boundaries. Unfortunately, this trust is sometimes misplaced.
If you’re getting intimate through a video chat, though, these things won’t be as much of a concern. It’s still possible that your date could pressure you to do something that you aren’t entirely comfortable with, but there’s no possibility of physical harm from the other person. And as a last resort, you can always end the video chat if things seem like they’re getting out of hand.
You can do everything on your own schedule.
Part of the pressure of in-person dates is that you have to think on your feet. If you get flustered and start acting awkward, your date could easily get the wrong impression, and then you could feel like you’ve ruined your chances.
If you’re having the same conversation online, however, you can take all the time you need to think through your messages and make sure you’re setting the right tone. This is an advantage for anyone, but especially for the people who are shy, or cautious about how they express themselves. Plus, the fact that you’re communicating from your own home will probably help with any potential nerves.
You won’t have as much time to craft the perfect response if you’re interacting via video chats, but you’ll still be in a familiar place – and you’ll be able to make a hasty retreat if you absolutely hate how things are going. Simply leave the video chat, and the interaction will be over.
You can find exactly who you’re looking for.
Alright, maybe not exactly who you’re looking for, but there are several strategies that can help you find some likely candidates. To start with, you can choose the right website, app, or video chat site. Do you want to find someone whose goals include marriage and a family? There are plenty of dating sites for people who want dedicated relationships. Are you looking for an online dalliance with a complete stranger? Video chat sites could be just the ticket.
Beyond picking the right site, you can search based on user profiles. Some platforms even give you all kinds of filters to help you find people with the right characteristics.
Contrast this to your odds when you’re looking for a date in-person. You’ll find a certain type of people at bars, and another type at an art gallery opening. The people you meet will depend heavily on your social calendar, and sometimes that just doesn’t cut it.
You can focus on communication without all the usual distractions.
Communicating with people, especially with strangers, is tricky for many of us. When you add in factors like background noise, a busy environment, and the sudden panic of wondering if you remembered to put on deodorant, that’s a lot to process. In addition to that, in-person conversations tend to focus on the small stuff; it would seem weird to jump straight to heavier topics like life goals or convictions on the first date.
As with most other things, the dynamic is a lot different when you’re dating someone online. You’ll still have plenty of chances for the usual trivialities, but you’ll probably get to the important stuff a bit faster than if you were meeting in a crowded restaurant. If you were sitting right next to each other, their body language might help you read between the lines of a relatively vapid conversation; but with the help of video chats, you could get the same thing in an online date.
Online dating may not be for everyone, but it’s a better option than many people think.
We’ve come a long way since lonely singles used newspapers to advertise their need for a partner. With all the options out there, maybe it’s time for more people to give online dating a chance – they might be surprised at what they’ve been missing!